Our instinct is to shield children from things that will cause them pain but death creates a very teachable moment. During this sad and confusing time children can learn the critical life skill of grieving,  a skill they will utilize again and again as they face various types of losses throughout their lives.   Helping your child navigate the grieving process includes honesty, listening without judgement, and validation of the sadness, anger, and confusion that accompanies a broken heart.  

I’ve loved and lost countless small pets over the years and every time I emptied a shoe box in preparation for their final resting place I thought: “This creature gave me so much….he/she deserves a better send off!” I’d decorate the box with hearts and write something on the lid about how much I loved them.  I’d even wrap the body of my pet in something warm and cozy but the truth always remained…it was a shoe box.  And so, the Friends FurEver Toolkit was born! 

Imagine the body of your beloved small pet in a casket which includes; a heart shaped pillow, a fuzzy blanket, a loving note written by your child, and a heart shaped sticker to seal the lid.   Top that off with a headstone that your child can decorate (paints and paintbrush included) and seeds to plant after the burial.  Burying a pet in this loving manner will provide your child with healthy closure which is an important step toward healing. 

Just the act of painting a special box to hold your pet’s ashes or belongings is healing. Creating art is grounding. It helps to restore a sense of control, something that is lost amidst the tornado that is grief. It is a wonderful way for children to express their emotions & communicate their feelings and gives a sense of closure.

Research has shown that journaling is a tried and true coping tool for exploring grief as well as other complicated emotions.  Journaling offers a private place where children can reflect on and express their feelings freely without judgement.  It offers an opportunity to organize thoughts, and calm a racing mind.  Journaling has been known to reduce stress, offer perspective, and even improve sleep! For this reason, I’ve created a journal which is included in the kit. 

The Friends FurEver journal encourages children to work through uncomfortable emotions by writing and drawing.   It includes both specific questions and open-ended prompts to help children explore and document their memories.  The journal encourages children to discover and strengthen their own coping skills and assures them that one day they WILL FEEL BETTER!